I Haven't Been Entirely Honest With You

A month of hard-won things

There is a strange line between an online presence and being completely truthful. I have always been on the side of honest and human rather than polished and perfect, which so many people seem to share. The carefully curated version makes others feel less than, gives a false impression of what success is, and what living a good life looks like. My biggest bug is the "6 figures" claim for small arts businesses. Anyone who leads with that, I'm straight off. There is a reason they feel the need to share it, and it's usually because of how it makes them look. Besides, does that mean turnover or profit? It's a nonsense statement either way.

So the question is, what happens when there are times you can’t be completely open, and don’t want to share everything, and what happens when that stretches into a prolonged period? The truth is, I haven’t been entirely honest with you — to quote Miranda Hart. And I’m not ready to be entirely honest with you yet either, but many of you know snippets already. My health has been declining since Covid in March 2020. Enter perimenopause a couple of years later, and things started falling apart slowly, one bit at a time. I am now just post-gynaecological op, and feeling as though my mind has returned to my brain after a long absence.

I want to write more about it. But for now, here is a little of what's been happening this past month and what is coming up. So many exciting things that have been hard fought, and that makes me extra proud right now. The reality behind the shiny exhibition and new art releases.

I had two weeks’ notice of my op, so I jumped into action, knowing I had an exhibition and a retreat in June. The retreat is always planned well ahead, but an exhibition, well, why is it inevitably last-minute for me? I hadn’t yet created the art I was happy with, or written the words for the book I was going to produce alongside. Somehow, in this fog of two weeks, I managed to paint work I love, and write twenty poems that have depth and meaning, all rooted in how the sea has touched my life.

Some of you will know parts of this story from my last post, but here is what was behind it. I spent as much time as I could in cafes writing. One day I wrote twelve in Becketts in Stornoway, and the rest followed in the Deli in Tarbert. I found my place, then I found my method, and I found my focus….. mostly down to time pressure, but if it works, it works. The painting followed the same pattern, most of it made in a flurry of two days, with canvases strewn across the floors throughout the house. Luckily, it was sunny, so they continued out onto the doorstep and the front of the house to dry.

Staying in Stornoway Hospital was unique and lovely — exceptional care, so many people popping in, so much kindness. Flying back to Rob's afterwards was no problem, thanks to Loganair’s fabulous customer service and reliable supply of Tunnock's caramel wafers.

The book caused a few nights of worry during this time. It's a departure for me, or rather, not a departure, more a first step toward being truly aligned with what I want to do just for myself. I let go of any expectations, allowed it to evolve naturally, and for what felt like the first time, wrote whatever I wanted…. stories, memories, connections that had wanted to be heard but hadn't been, for so long. This is from my heart.

So I decided to be brave and send it to some writers. I messaged Poorna Bell, journalist, author, and someone I look up to, and she agreed to read it. Then I spiralled. Was I being deluded? Who am I to put this out into the world? And all of this during recovery, hormones swirling, stomach resembling a balloon.

Two days later, when things had settled, a close friend sent a voicemail with warm feedback, and something clicked. By then, I didn’t need the reassurance quite as desperately as I had two days earlier, although it sealed something inside me and made me cry a little.

The times I quietly disappear, doubt my worth, wonder who I am to put anything out into the world at all, they aren’t random. They follow me like a shadow through my life, and they are not really me. They are just the times when I am not well.

When I feel strong, I have the resilience to share, to risk being seen, and I am happy to take that risk. I have an inkling she is about to return fully, and this is just the beginning.

With the help of Adele and Max Warner Tate, and Loganair's wheelchair service, I returned to Drumnadrochit so that Rob could look after me again, so I can fully rest before the upcoming retreat, nature journalling workshop day and exhibition.

Skye has been on watch ever since. She sits next to me most days, always touching me, either by lying alongside me or hooking her head over my feet or hands. We call it “the head hook”. She also guards by always facing away. At first, it annoyed me - always having her bum facing me, but I have come to realise it’s a protective thing. And now I realise why she sleeps most of the day - because she is on watch most of the night for scary spiders or terrible noises that may harm us. I will return to Harris shortly, fully rested and looked after, and look forward to hanging the exhibition and meeting all the people flying in for the creative retreat next week. Sometimes these pauses are more valuable than you realise.

Margaret x

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A few bits of information

Exhibition Details

June 2nd - 30th 2026 , Talla Na Mara, Pairc Niseaboist, Isle of Harris HS3 3AE

Open day June 2nd 11 am - 3 pm. All are welcome to come along and meet us and have some tea!

The Book

For anyone who has ever stood at the sea and felt something shift. These poems and paintings trace memory, solitude, grief and joy, shaped by family holidays on the Hebrides, loss and healing found by the sea.

Available now in various bundles using the links below:

The book - Shaped by the sea book.

The sea collection – The book plus five art postcards.

The Full Collection. The book, one art print, 5 postcards and a bookmark. Collector’s edition – The book paired with a fine art print.

Gift Edition – The book, one art print, 5 postcards and a bookmark, in a gift-wrapped box.

The Galerie

My art gallery in Harris has a new webpage and presence now! You can read all about The Galerie here, along with maps and opening times.